I looked in the mirror,
And there she was.
Long hair,
Brown eyes,
Wide smile,
Pale skin,
Smiling back at me.
She stood there smiling;
I stood there staring.
She was smiling,
But her heart was crying.
I wanted to help,
But I was no nurse.
I turned my back,
Ready to leave,
But then I notice,
She smiled once more
Turned her back and left me
I was smiling,
My heart was bleeding.
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Hi Jenny,I liked your poems a lot. There is a depth of feeling and rawness of emotion in them that engages attention. There are a number of small things that we can talk about in class, words that might be changed here and there. but overall good work. dw
ReplyDeleteJenny,
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem. It's easy to picture and is full of emotion. I was thinking that you could expand the story within the poem and talk about what she is upset about. The poem is strong without that addition, but if you wanted to make it longer, that would be interesting to include. Good work!