Monday, September 7, 2009

Baby Brother

He wakes me up in the mid of night
He pulls my hair with all his might
For such a little thing
He sure can sing.
He cries,
He screams,
He pinches,
He kicks,
He’s mine.

His smile light up my life
His giggle turns my frown,
The other way around.
He’s mine!

It’s hard to be so far away
As the days and nights go by
I wonder when I’ll get to see him
I didn’t see him during his first days,
Only see him few times a year,
But every time
He makes my heart skip a beat.
He’s mine.

3 comments:

  1. Second paragraph in the first line, you could edit "light up" to "lights up"

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  2. I like this poem because I can sense the emotions behind the words. There is a continuous thread of possessiveness throughout the poem that gives this poem its emotional appeal. The use of punctuation is very interesting for it also reinforces various emotions throughout the poem. The first stanza alludes to authors frustration with the turbulent child and ends with a period hints at the acceptance of the brother despite all his faults. The second stanza speaks of the joy that the brother brings in the authors life and ends with an exclamation point which also serves to underscore to the joy that the author feels. Those are both deliberate actions that enhance the poem. Some critiques I have of the poem is in its grammatical errors which distract the reader as they are reading, especially since they do not appear to be deliberate; and also what I feel is an unnecessary shortening of the word “middle”.

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  3. almost like something out of a baby book but a fun poem that shows even though it can be hard having a baby brother its also the best thing. i really like the repetition of "he's mine" because it shows the reader how none of the hard times really matter when in the end "he's mine." neat poem.

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